funny thing,
 left my backpack at burger king last night.
heh had my wallet n camra in it.
came back 10 mins later and thank god it's still there
here's to using a nondescript bag and families eating dinner at BK inDelancey.
no i don't usually eat dinner at BK but was rushing to help a friend install track lights
yea at 8 pm. didn't leave till 11 knew he worked all night.
so when did i become a construction worker...

another person's leaving.
guess she's been re-recruited by her old boss who was our manager and left a shortwhile ago
heh.
you know
i'm even more reluctant now to seek anther job.
it's like i don't need the headache and uncertainty.
shoot, have i just been beaten down and knocked out.
oh well maybe someday when i develop some guts i'll find a way to pay off my debts sooner.

made it out to oktoberfest. helped to serve sausages.
hey better than drinking myself to death in one corner.
weisswurst.. bratwurst..
i've always wondered what it's like to have a hotdog stand
they are actually quite disgusting, not that i tried any myself.

think i'm just digging this grave even deeper.
why make it worse right. can't control the anger tho.
it spews forth like i have tourette's or smtg..
i am so mean these days.

where i sit is blocked by a 5'6" cubicle wall to a heavily trafficked entrance area.
keep hearing people going what's that smell. what's that smell.
so far i've refrained from not yelling out, it's my kichee and takuwan dammit!

yay freelance.
guess that contact isn't as shriveled and dried up as i thought.

damn, i've been here for 2 years now. exactly today.. i remember being excited when i got the job. now after the hate and whatnots i'm neutral, it's just a job.

there's so little positive in my life right now that i suppose i really ought to keep tabs on the good parts or i will end up doing something regrettably stupid.

friday night, painted, ended up in the city, met up with friends in a rather haphazard way, but great to see you gals and some old friends whom i've avoided out of awkwardness.

saturday, woke up late, went to paint, change of plans, decided to smoke and make a silly phone call, got hurt even more (what's new), but at least provided with some closure.
hung out with my roomie and a fellow struggling artist. felt lucky to be able to have an apartment and a studio. ate, went bowling, got a new ball, emerald and raspberry. a pro- ball, like uh a real one. unfortunately i did better with the old plastic one. no strikes that night. backwards curve persisting. found out monday nights you can bowl all you want for $15. will try. watched korean soap opera

sunday, went to delaware water gap. going at 90 mph on an old bike with a non dot approved helmet makes me feel like i'm laughing at the face of danger. but hey  when you gotta go you gotta go. i'm a big believer in destiny now, fuck caution.
ate at some overpriced diner in an old train depot. home, napped. watched korean soap opera. yeah i don't understand it. roomie keeps insisting it's like my love story while half translating and half reacting to unfolding scenes in shock. oh no her baby, oh no the bad governor. i gave up saying it's just a damn movie and it's all been scripted. and no it's not like my life story first off the guy's a handsome kickboxer and the girl's involved with the mob. if only my life was that exciting i doubt i'd be watching korean soap operas. heh.bitter still. this corn is good tho. getting good at roasting corn...

funny thing abt corn, saw this korean traditional painting book and in one of the panels a family is enjoying corn and the dad stuck an eaten cob at the end of a bamboo stick and used it as a backscratcher. heh. still gotta try that.

don't you hate it when someone tells you i'm doing this for your own good
when it's something that you so do not want nor need, nor does it make you feel any better..

so i've been a little obsessed looking into these child painting prodigies.
i think more than anything else they prove to completely undermine the arts education system
who cares if you can write a beatiful double space 12 pt treatise on art movements of the xth century. all those formal teching, you have ato know what you paint sometimes just destroys any form of originiality don't it.
anyway, can't stand being in the office anymore.
it's giving me an allergic reaction blech
and next week's my official 2 yr anniversary here
whoope dee doo..