apologies to those whose events i missed yesterday and today.
stayed up packing things for storage.
went and stored it, signed a new lease, got our not so temporary apartment, talked to our landlords..
renting is soooo much faster. took us two days to sign the lease.
we still haven't closed on the apt.
real moving tomorrow. just got movers..
fast fast.
gotta pack everything tonight and move by 5 pm tomorrow...
i'm glad someone else is dealing with movin my craftmatic bed

OMFG, keep me away from sharp objects today.
so the car got bumped (thank G not more) when ted dropped me off at work. then after i sat down i heard he was still outside so i went to check only to stumble down the last step an bruise my knee.
yes good thing it was the last step, nothing cute, just a big bruise.
gotta sleep earlier. went to bed at 3 cos left work at 1
no not whole day, went to doctor then to see a new little baby boy . 5 days old Cal Everett Chase. after Cal Ripken, was born the same day too.
ahh new babies make me happy, falling down from stairs doesn't.
hope this isn't reflective of the rest of the day.. :

mood : : :
it's sucky.
responsibility's a bastard.

Yet Another Rant
can't help it
feeling trapped.
not progressing.
getting older.
none the wiser.
same routine everyday.
more stuff left undone.
sit and type type type.
awed at the liberian female fighters.
do know that am lucky.
if i could go back the one thing i'd change is my insecurity with my art.
i'd do everything the same, but would doodle on and on and on all day.
i miss my parents too.
been cut off too long.
sad depressed know pms is pulling the strings.
the same ole monthly cycle repeats.
tired.
craving adventure.
something new something different.
well, moving soon.
that's something new.
ll get to buy real furniture
nah, ll still use the old ones.
new comp tho
definitely
ah, material bliss.
sad.
oh well.
i feel like i need to get to the next step.
i have no plans whatsoever and it feels strange to feel so unaccomplished
yet working 12 hrs a day.
it makes no fuckin sense.
and it's driving me completely nuts.
i need to make my movie.
shoot something
do something anything
maybe
who knows
will i feel better
probably
it's just me beating myself up again
cos if i don't then who will?

eh, someone's buying the place we wanted to sublet..
probably easier to get someone to live w us for a few months..
.
started putting our stuff in storage.
flb stuff went first. no more making shirts till we move to our new place.. not that i've made any lately.
hhh, we'll have to move twice.
putting the nonessentials in storage.
the rest into our new sublet.
gonna be hiring movers twice. to sublet then to actual apt.
not changing address yet, here's hopin landlord doesn't mind getting our mail for the next (let's hope less than 2) months.
would be nice if we closed on the date we're supposed to.
sept 12
but i don't think that's going to happen.
stupid take forever paperwork.
i just want it all over. and only worry about selling my old monitor and getting a flat panel.

shooo.. i emailed summuve you lovely nyc ladies (sorry if i missed some..) for a get together sometime this week?
i can't make it friday, picnic & bachelorette's
but free all day saturday.
let me know
 

trying out earplugs at work.
wonder if it'll help..

sometimes i wonder if i neglect the friends i have.
i think it's just my nature tho.
even though most think i have add which i probably do when it come to visuals
i really am most comfortable with the company of one other person/a few close friends.
i don't care much abt party situations where you're forced to make small talk.
introducing and meeting 5 different people every minute or two.
not everyone talks to everyone at a party.
i think it's just sensory overload.
i can process in all the visual oratory senses.
but processing another human being. that takes a lot.
that is if you're choosing to care.
i'd rather sit and doodle in the corner. which i have done in many occasions obviously making me seem obnoxious or pretentious.
but hey i don't get much time for myself to do it, i'm doing it whenever i can.
but yeah.
i don't know why i'm so reluctant to call.
to make plans.
i think i'm just one very very lazy bear.
.
sorry for being lazy, but i do love you all.
i may not say it much, but i always mean what i say

yeah, the stress of the routine definitely makes me forget why the hell am i here in the first place.
the plan is still the same.
mindless gruntwork day job.
moonlight on personal projects/freelance.
just gotta get this whole move buying apt thing done and it'll be better. coming into place s l o w l y.
oh and there's the company picnic to look forward too. mmm, at least i'll get a free lunch next friday.

i don't have such high ambitions in terms of a career.
i just want to be able to live comfortably and know that i earned it myself.