October 14, 2003

  • well i told myself no
    and .. uh ok i've slapped my own hand
    .
    mmm tiramisu & chocolate cake w grand marnier
    yum
    prod samples are great :D
    .
    bought a new bike
    hee hee never had a new bike before
    used to ride my bro's old blue n yellow bmx
    till i realized i almost died falling flat on my face onto the street
    usually heavily trafficked crossroads that was thankfully emtpy at the time
    or was it cos i got chased by a shitload of big dogs in that alley two blocks from my house?
    .
    read an article
    http://www.salon.com/sex/feature/2003/10/14/cheever/index.html
    reminded me of my relationship
    "I think she must have a soul, because I love some part of her that can't be seen or touched"
    something..
    it was all about not being able to think with your head when you're in love
    your body just reacts
    the need , the desire overcomes all
    forces you to fight for it him/her
    strange
    can't really put it in words
    i remember a time when he was going to leave because he didn't think i cared
    cause i never said anything
    i told him i was bad with words
    i don't know what it is
    he stayed cause i told him i liked how he'd buy me gyros
    really, ok that's not all but the first thing i blurted out
    etched most deeply in my memory bank
    and he's stayed till now
    strange
    tongue tied
    whatnot
    i still can't articulate what it is
    you just know
    you just can't deny it
    you just know that it hurts to lose this person
    tremendously
    and you care
    too much
    even though you're not sure why
    even though your friends tell you he/she's not worth it
    and he can do no wrong
    yes it hurts when he does
    but you can't walk away
    course now he takes care of me
    lives to make me happy
    and i forget often that he's had to change so much for me
    i take it for granted
    i nitpick
    rather finding fault with him than me
    then he has to yell
    we have a little blah
    some sense gets knocked back in
    we wonder why we didn't communicate it sooner
    and things are peachy keen again
    till next time
    till our lives change again
    and we find ourselves on unsure footing
    questioning our worth, our existence
    well probably just me
    but i love this man
    i really don't know why
    i just do
    we must be soulmates to be drawn to each other so strongly

Comments (8)

  • YUMMIE.. TIRAMISU...

    AND CONGRATS ON YOUR BIKE!

  • I love the piece that you just wrote =)  It truly captures your feelings.

    Congrats for the new bike as well! ^^

  • :)
    i need to post the pic of cama on my bike

  • there is no right definition of love. it is so vast. i do not think human's mind can really understand it. what love for you may not be love for me, and the other way around. but if we can have a glimpse, if we can have a taste of what love is, i call us lucky! =)

    anyway, all the things in the universe comes back to two things (which i think you all have already known): love and fear. every action, every reaction, anything is based on these two things.

    hmmm.. i have never known you know how to ride a bike. ;p

  • in case u r wondering who wrote you the comment before.. it is me.. your cousin.. (now you can guess which one) ;)

  • yes i can ride. :P

    now i gotta get used to it again and build up confidence to get on the streets and bike to work :)

  • deep....u say u arent good with words, i think u just said a lot, so u can just print this xanga out! or he prob already read it!

  • he never reads what's here :)

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